Tag Archives: facebook

dear facebook friends and family


Dear Friends and Family who Voted for Trump,

I’ve posted political articles on and off since the political season began (whenever that was…seems like it went on forever). I supported Bernie and then happily and with no reluctance moved my support to Hillary. I was open about that.

I got some comments on things I shared and some discussion but for the most part it was respectful. For the most part people left things I posted alone or agreed with them or maybe liked them.
I deleted someone because they kept posting the “haha” reaction to articles I shared about how Trump reminds me and other victims of their abusers but that was it.
Since Trump won it’s been different. I’ve posted articles, memes and graphics. None of it is in anyway more polarizing than things I posted before the election. However, some of you (some who I wasn’t aware were Trump supporters – the Bradley Effect is real) are now commenting, arguing and dismissing my opinions.
Why? Is it because your candidate won so now you have some sort of bravery you didn’t before? Is it because the things I post hit too close to home? Why do you feel so defensive and entitled to argue with me when you ignored my posts before the election? This puzzles me. It’s Facebook. I know there will be disagreements. I just wonder why after the election people suddenly feel the urge to comment and argue when before my posts were left alone before. That’s the part that confuses me. 
 I’m a survivor. I make no secret of that fact. Trump reminds me of my abusers just as he reminds thousands of other people in this country of their abusers. Trump makes me feel unsafe just as he makes thousands of other people in this country feel unsafe.  As a survivor I’ve learned that I can’t keep everyone in my life. Sometimes I have to let people go entirely – other times, I have to limit how much my life intersects with theirs.

The majority of my posts post-election day have not been about politics as normal. They have been about how this man makes people (me) feel. When you dismiss what I post or what I write with a “sorry you feel that way but it’s not true” or long explanations as to why what I just posted is plainly just wrong when it was an opinion piece that expresses hurt and sorrow, you aren’t saying my political views are wrong, you are saying that the way I feel and am choosing to heal is wrong. And that is far more damaging and hurtful than anything you could argue with me about.

I’m not going to stop posting articles to Facebook. I’m not going to stop talking about what I am doing to heal from my trauma – on a global scale and on a personal scale – but I am going to be limiting who can see what I post. It may be a relief to you too. You probably don’t enjoy seeing what I’m posting because you disagree with it so strongly anyways. Perhaps it offends you. I’m not going to apologize for that but I am going to make it easy on both of us and limit our contact. Because you must understand, when you argue with me over articles or memes or whether something is true or not; whether I have the right to feel this hurt.; whether I have the right to feel this way about Trump; I hear that you are telling me you don’t support me. You don’t support survivors. If you met my abuser’s and they told you their version of the story you would believe them over me. Or you just wouldn’t care. That is what I am hearing. More than likely I’m wrong. But I’m not claiming to be rational. I’m simply claiming to be doing what I have to do to survive.

And so you’ll still see me post on Facebook. I would’t want to keep everyone from seeing my dog pictures now would I (maybe those annoy you lol I don’t know)? I do wish you luck. But, I can’t wish for everyone to “just get along right now” because as the movie quote says “I’m mad as Hell and I’m not going to take it anymore”.  But I do wish you health and hope.

– Still very proud to be “With Her”, 




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Filed under abuse, abuser, bullying, coping skills, culture, election 2016, family, feminism, friends, friendship, Gus, Identity, life events, PTSD, social change, society, survivor, the past, trauma, writing/poetry

i’ll be back in september (in the meantime check out these links)

Well I’m popping in on my blog to let everyone know that I’ve decided to officially take a break from blogging here until September. It’s probably been obvious I’ve taken a break from my lack of posts but I wanted to let you know that I have made that “official” in my mind and will be back starting in September. I’ve been busy working with my dogs, starting my Animal Behavior College classes, continuing Shona’s training and of course attending therapy along with a variety of other things. I’ve blogging some on my tumblr site as it is a very quick way to post and update photos there almost daily (here is a direct link to those photos) and updating my facebook page. Here is the new link to that. I’ll continue updating those throughout August so you can for sure find me and the pups there.

I’ll talk to you soon!

– Kate (and the pups)

Where to find me in the Meantime:

My tumblr – Life with Ben and Shona 

Facebook – Personal (ask to friend with a message of who you are); Ben and Shona – Psychiatric Service Dogs

Instagram – kate_givan

Email – kate.givan@gmail.com

My youtube account – videos of the dogs

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Filed under dog training, dogs, life events, psychiatric service dog, PTSD, Recovery, school, service dog, Tumblr

in the interest of full disclosure…

I like social media and I like social networking. I have a profile on most every social network site available and sometimes more than one. I’m active in several groups or lists and I talk to people who I know both in person and through through networking. I blog (obviously) and do not mind showing the word a peek into my life in various mediums.

This blog is set up to reflect my passions, to provide humor, sometimes to educate and to always, always tell my story. Because when it comes right down to it this blog is for me. Someday I want to look back and see my recovery laid out in the form of entries on this blog. The good and the bad times, the struggles and the triumphs. I censor some things for my privacy, for other’s privacy and simply for the sake of not having my ENTIRE life spread before me in pixels, JPEGs, HTML and whatever else the internet commits to it’s eternal archives.

I do think before I post. I have never once regretted posting anything. This may be hard to believe as I always have spelling and grammer errors but I am not really worried about those things. I think I get my point across. Also, hard to believe may be that I can write without those errors if I have to do so however in this blog I simply let my thoughts pour out.

It seems lately however that some things I have been posting have been monitored and so in the interest of full disclosure I am now going to reveal my entire presence on the web. Feel free to click or research them. They are largely boring and hold no significance at all except for me. They are redundant as most everything is published here. I don’t expect you to follow them (or even click on them) in fact you would be receiving the exact same information so in some ways it would be pointless too. If you stick with me here – you’ll be fine. But if you are worried about what I’m posting by all means go ahead and check out my various social network sites. I have nothing to hide. Here they are: (Warning: I told you I was addicted.)

Fightingmywayback – main blog, found on Wordpress, has been in existence since April of 2011

Kate’s Canine Crew – new blog I made to chronicle my adventures in training my dogs, found on Wordpress, has been in existence since April 2013

They Save Me Everyday – Life with Ben and Shona – tumblr, has been in existence since January 2013

Living Life with Ben and Shona – facebook page that gives a peek into life with Ben (my service dog) and Shona (who is in training), updated with short updates about training and life with them, monthly photo albums and info about service dogs as well as fun pictures and quotes about dogs

Instagram – find me under kate_givan, almost daily pictures of the dogs and other aspects of my life

Vine – fyi – Vine is an app where you can make very, very short videos, – stop motion or continuous motion, just found it but I love it. Find me under Kate Givan (no link because I think it is just a phone app however you can see some videos through my Twitter….)

Twitter – I’m just getting back into using twitter. Find me under @KatherineGivan

Youtube – I rarely upload videos but in the interest of full disclosure….

I also have a private facebook page but I only add people on here who I know so if I don’t know you – I won’t add you. My privacy settings are pretty high so I dont’ consider this a public page thus why I’m not sharing it. Although, I’m not naive enough to expect you not to find it if you really, really wanted to.

Like I said this is all in the interest of full disclosure in case you worry about what I post. Find me if you want especially if you are on Vine (I’m really excited about this new app!) but in no way do I expect you to worry about all of these various places around the internet. I participate in them for my own entertainment and interest. I like knowing what’s new, what’s happening and what’s going on. Plus I think the information could be useful to me one day as I hope to own a business.

One last thing…

Censorship is saying: ‘I’m the one who says the last sentence. Whatever you say, the conclusion is mine.’ But the internet is like a tree that is growing. The people will always have the last word – even if someone has a very weak, quiet voice. Such power will collapse because of a whisper.- Ai Weiwei




Filed under Ben, bullying, coping skills, dogs, Identity, Life Story, quotes, service dog, Tumblr