It’s funny this thing called recovery. Not ha-ha funny but in a ‘oh surprise’ or ‘this is odd’ type of way. I continue to learn things which redefine what recovery is for me. And I believe recovery is not the same for everyone. I think there are certain non-negotiables (such as eating food, not purging, no self-harm etc.) but the details change from person to person. For me a lot of my recovery centers around making peace with my trauma and moving from victim to survivor. But for others it could mean being truthful in a whole new way, letting people in your life, being clean and sober, learning to be independent and so on and so forth. I also don’t think recovery is just limited to people with an eating disorder or someone who has experienced addiction or trauma. I believe that everyone has something to ‘recover’ from or at least heal in their life. Yes, that is exactly a better way to say it. Everyone has something that they need to heal.
I guess you could say that I am lucky that I have had the opportunity to work on my healing and have things be brought to my attention that I could change and could ultimately improve my quality of life. I am also lucky (although I think a different word is appropriate) that I have had two+ years (when all added together) when all I did was focus on healing and recovery 24 hours a day. Not many people get the opportunity to go to residential or inpatient facilities that allow them to focus only on themselves and their lives at all times.
I think all people are broken in some way. They may have been bullied or belittled as children. Abused or attacked. They may be a victim of societal expectations or their family structure. They may have dreams that had to be let go, plans for an education put on hold or that never happened. They may not believe in their worth as a person or suffer from low self-esteem. They may be lonely or they may never be alone. Hurts and brokeness is as different as the many people in the world. Never judge a person for what their hurts are. None are minimal. The point is is that everyone has something that has hurt or effected them.
And everyone could use the opportunity and chance to heal from that. Healing is an active thing. A thing that takes time, insight, hard work and tears. A series of stops and starts. It’s different for everyone and can’t really be defined in concrete terms.
So my healing continues. I have an idea of what it looks like now but a year ago I would have told you something differently. So it’s ever changing and evolving.
And I hope that wherever you are in your life that you are actively healing or beginning that process. I can’t define it for you but I hope you explore what it looks like for you. But most of all I hope you give yourself a chance and the opportunity to heal. It’s hard but I have to believe that in the end it will be worth it.